In life, we have easy decision to make… like what’s for lunch? Or take shower or not? But sometime… we come cross to an intersection and it’s so hard to make turn… It’s the same with my current stage where I have to decide to do surgery or not for my “3rd kidney”
Yes, as weird as it might sound.. Having 3 kidneys is not all fun… and with this current condition that the urethra has filled with some strange fluid and needed to be taken out or it will get bigger and life threatening. This time, I have to decide to do it in Singapore or Indonesia.. And which doctor should I choose to rely on? Right now I have preference to do it in Indo with consideration that it will be better with a big family support… Where as in Singapore, my husband will be by himself..And I just cannot imagine that my kids cannot see me in the hospital. Among all the doctor that I met, I prefer the one with the most experience and lose teeth..hahahha..but other hand, I’m afraid he will make poor stitches.
Omg.. it’s been a saaaad of discussion with my husband last night. We had discussed about the possible worst scenario… if I die… I shouldn’t be worry because… He said he will take care of the children he will provide them with the best education; they will be taken care of with his love and care… He will dedicate his life and love for them… He said he won’t re-marry, so the kids won’t have the evil step mom. He said that I shouldn’t be panic… just go to the heaven and visit him often in his dream and look over the children from above…and they will be fine…They will be sad, but they will be fine, that’s why I have to be strong to be back to them in healthier body…Because I don’t want to leave just yet… I want to hang around longer, until I have grand-grand-children…Until I have lost all my teeth and my hair gone grey and white… Until I have gone around the world…i want to stay 1000 years with my love ones…
Today I feel terrible… I didn’t sleep well…
But I got inspiration from my instagram, it says, “most worries never come true, they exist only within the mind.” I hope for the best, and I did prepare for the worst..




